Talk to each other, dude! – Working on a healthy relationship
Recently I was watching this TED talk on good life lessons
This is a fast world where everything’s constantly changing, especially us humans. Just when you start thinking you got it all sorted out, that you really know yourself and are familiar with the ways of our society, something comes up and gets your head spinning in all directions. Not only you have to keep yourself together at all times while working a full-time job, paying bills and battling with everyday stress, you also have to stay tuned to your partner’s vibrations and keep the relationship strong and healthy. But hey, that’s life on this planet and it’s one fuckin’ amazing adventure during which you should play it cool, act smart and always talk to the people you love and care about. Even the most complicated misunderstandings can be avoided and corrected, so here’s a couple of subjects you should keep in mind and discuss with your partner.
Matching up your libido
In long-term relationships partners can sometimes become so used to each other that it bothers their sex life. The routine can be dangerous for the relationship, especially if the partner’s sex drives don’t match, so if one side has a lower sexual desire, and the other one stronger, try making a schedule, some sort of an agreement you both have to stick to. But because it’s not a business agreement, you can make it funky and spontaneous by adding some sex toys and role-playing. Just keep in mind to take it slow and enjoy every minute of it.
Know the limits
Partner doesn’t always know what turns you on and off, and these situations are not uncommon, even in long-term relationships. Just don’t forget that he/she can’t read minds (lucky for you). It’s definitely better if you build your relationship on a solid ground, telling your partner from the start what you want to do in bed and what’s out of the question. But be open for new possibilities and always ask partner does she/he wants to share their fantasies with you. Some ideas might work perfectly between you two, but some can make things awkward or even hurt your partner. Either way, open communication is essential for a good relationship, even if you have to hear or say something you don’t like. This is how you learn about your partner and yourself.
Like we said, life’s complicated enough even without thinking about sex and problems in the bedroom. It’s perfectly understandable and normal to avoid intercourse sometimes, but continuous rejection can hurt your partner, though not as much if you clearly explain the reasons for it. Your partner needs to understand that “not today” doesn’t mean “not forever”. Try explaining that you’re still very attracted to her/him, but there are other concerns which are bothering you and that’s why you can’t trully enjoy sex at the moment.